Life Lessons Learned

I am currently sitting at a coffee shop in a huge mall in Stockholm.  We left for the airport at 7:15 this morning, and arrived in snowy Stockholm at around 9:30.  We don’t play until 5:00 tonight, so we have quite a bit of time to walk around the mall, relax, and of course, drink coffee!  This is Europe after all…

*The Mall*

The past couple of weeks have been a little rough for our team (volleyball-wise).  We had 2 league losses prior to this past weekend, 1 of which we absolutely should have and could have won.  The other we just were not playing very well that day.  Last Sunday we had a must win game in order to qualify for the Grand Prix in January.  The Grand Prix is a big deal in Sweden.  The top 4 teams in the elite league get to go and face off against one another.  The only problem is that the Grand Prix is in Katrineholm this year, so the team in that city gets an automatic spot.  Katrineholm is not currently in the top 4.  They are 5^th, which means that your team must be in the top 3 in order to qualify this year.

We trained really hard all week for our game against Gislaved.  All week we knew how important this match was in order to qualify for the Grand Prix.  When the match started, we were a little unorganized.  We didn’t play poorly, but we weren’t playing to our full potential.  The refs made a few bad calls that really upset me and I started to let it effect how I was playing. 

My coach took me out for a minute, and as I was sitting on the bench, a few things came to mind.  When I first got to Sweden, I downloaded old motivational video clips that we used to watch before games as a team at Clemson; I found some new ones on YouTube as well.  I made a playlist in my iTunes that included all of these clips and have been listening to it before every game.

One of the clips includes Derrick Rose.  He says, “Why can’t I be the MVP of the league?  Why can’t I be the best player in the league?  I don’t see why I can’t do that.”  After recalling this in my mind while I was on the bench, I had a brief conversation with myself that went something like this:

"Alexa, you are playing professional volleyball in Sweden.  Do you know how many people would love to have that chance and will never be able to do something like that?  How many years have you played selfish volleyball and let your attitude get the better of you?  How many times is it going to take for you to realize that being a team player, playing with God, and using the talents that God gave you are a once in a lifetime opportunity?  You only get one life on this earth.  Be a good teammate.  Know that your positive energy and love for your team and for God can encourage a lot more people than you think."

Another thing that came to mind was when Emily Childes, one of the kindest friends I could ever ask for, saw how upset I got after losing in an outdoor tournament this past summer.  She pointed out that I am extremely competitive.  Yes, I am an athlete and of course I love winning.  However, she made me think about how I am not perfect, and it's not realistic to play a team sport and never lose a game or set in your entire career.  We are human!  Sports can cause you to react in many different ways.  Sports have their ups and their downs.  You will go through extreme high periods and extreme low periods.  But you cannot let certain outcomes define you and take away what you stand for.  Always be kind, play every point like it's your last, and inspire others to find something they can be passionate about just like I am passionate about volleyball and so many other things.  

As I was thinking about things of this nature, my coach put me back in the game, and I looked at the game in a whole new light.  I was honored to be out on the court.  I was honored to be a part of an experience so much greater than myself.  I was honored to have a gym packed with fans.  I stopped being selfish and started playing for my team and for God.  The game that I love started to become fun again.  

Veri probably said something like this: "See what happens when you stop being crazy!?  We can get points!"

We won the first set against Gislaved 25-22, then lost the second 20-25.  The third set was extremely intense and we ended up falling short in that one 29-31!  I am trying very hard not to play the blame game, however we were called for being in the net at 27-28 which once again tied up the game at 28.  This was rather infuriating, considering NO ONE on my team touched the net.  We asked the ref which player touched the net and he said he didn’t know… This was even more frustrating.  The next thing we knew the set was over and we found ourselves down 2 sets to 1, and then the match was over after a 16-25 loss in the fourth set.

I watched as the three Americans and the rest of the Swedes on Gislaved’s team jumped on the court with joy and excitement.  I couldn’t help but to be jealous, however I still kindly congratulated their team on their win.  Both teams lined up on the court for the post-game announcing of the game MVPs from each team.  I was shocked to hear my name called for my first honor of game MVP as a professional player in Sweden.  If I wouldn’t have collected my thoughts and changed my attitude while I was taken out of the game for a brief period, I would never have received this award.  And THAT is exactly why I wanted to play volleyball overseas.  I wanted to grow up and mature.  I wanted to learn more about myself and about the person I want to become.  If I was still in the United States, I wouldn’t have as much alone time to figure out what is truly important in life.  I would still be trying to please those around me.  This game taught me so much about how far I have come in one year.  Going from depression, to baptism, to graduation, to playing overseas all in the course of this year, I feel like I have grown up in a lot of different ways.

Now, this was a huge loss for our team and our club.  We went from 3^rd place in the league to 4^th, and our chance of going to the Grand Prix was gone.  The 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, and 5^th place teams would be going to the Grand Prix, while we are in 4^th place and do not get to go.  Do I think this is unfair?  Absolutely (especially since we beat Katrineholm)!  However, life is not always fair.  Here is another clip from my YouTube playlist I listen to before each game:

Rocky Balboa: “The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you're hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!”

The Grand Prix is no longer in reach, but winning the Swedish league still is!  My team can still pull it together, train harder, and continue to win more games if we want to.  We can stay down, or we can pull together and fight for the ultimate title.  The thing with volleyball is that it is a team sport and I cannot do it alone, just like I cannot do life without God, my family, and friends.

Nelson Mandela once said that “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”  I’m excited to go back to the United States in May and to see what life will be like in this new light I have recently found.  It is never too late to become a better person.  It is never too late to change your selfish ways.  It is never too late to be a leader and help those around you even when those around you feel hopeless.  I can't predict how things will go once I am back home, but I can tell you that this whole experience is molding me into a better person.  I hope I never forget the lessons I have learned here and will continue to learn for the duration of our season.

I hope this post is encouraging to those reading it.  If you ever need a friend to talk to, I will be here for you.  Please do not hesitate to send me a message via Facebook, email, or iMessage.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33


Update since starting this post:
-We beat Sollentuna in 3 sets last night (25-16, 25-17, 26-24).  
-Due to the bad weather back at home, my parents will not make it to Sweden today.  Hopefully their new flight will make it here by Monday.

Happy Thanksgiving from Sweden

“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.” –Dr. Steve Maraboli

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling.  For the first time in my life I was not in the United States for a major holiday.  I wanted to text all of my friends to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving, but being 6 hours ahead and it only being 5 am back at home, I relaxed in my room until it was time to go to lunch.  I walked to Simon’s (our lunch sponsor) like I do every day, and was greeted by the chef who has grown fond of my Polish roommates and me.  He asked what I wanted from the lunch menu after translating it from Swedish to English, and I said that I would take the chicken because it’s my favorite.  He gave me a big smile and shortly after, he came to my table with twice the amount of food he should have.  He is such a sweet guy, and I’m really thankful that he welcomes me with open arms into his restaurant each day.

After lunch, I headed to Espresso House in town which has become a part of my daily routine.  It’s kind of a joke with my team how much I go there.  They know that I am either in my apartment or at Espresso House, and if they ever need me they know where to find me.  The sun was shining, which doesn’t seem to happen much in Angelholm, Sweden.  Gray skies and rain are the norm here.  I finished up some notes, watched Netflix, and figured out how I was going to make my sweet potato dish for the Thanksgiving dinner I decided to host at my apartment.  When I came up with the idea of bringing an American tradition to my Swedish team, they were more than willing to join.  Everyone decided what they would bring and we made sure that there was enough salad, main dishes, and desserts.

My teammate Kim found me at Espresso House and we went grocery shopping down the street at ICA.  She was planning on making pumpkin pie.  After searching for pumpkins and sweet potatoes, we panicked a little because we couldn’t find either of these things.  Kim called Evelina to see if we could find a ride to a different grocery store, when I looked down and saw sweet potatoes AND pumpkins right in front of me.  After paying for our groceries and answering an elderly Swedish woman’s questions about what we were buying, Kim and I headed back to my apartment.  As we were walking back, I started to get more and more excited about dinner, especially when I walked in the apartment and Marza and Basia were almost done making a cake.  Their desserts are always amazing.

Kim and I started working on our dishes.  After baking the sweet potatoes, mashing them for a little over an hour, and adding butter and cinnamon, I was ready for my teammates to arrive.  Dinner was supposed to start at 7, but we didn’t eat until around 8:00 because some girls were finishing their cooking in the kitchen.  Once everyone was ready, we grabbed our plates and got started.  Everything looked wonderful!  We didn’t have a turkey, but we did have chicken and, of course, Swedish meatballs.

Some of the girls asked me if I normally pray before Thanksgiving dinner like they do in the American movies.  Most of the girls already know that I pray before every meal anyway; a few of them kept hinting for me to say a prayer until I finally gave in.  I hate that I get so nervous praying out loud with a group of people; I need to work on being more comfortable doing this.  As we sat there with our eyes closed, holding hands, I began to pray.  I thanked the Lord for giving me the opportunity to play volleyball in a different country.  I thanked Him for allowing me to have Thanksgiving dinner with my teammates in Sweden even though I wasn’t able to be with my friends and family from back home.  When I brought up my family, I started to get choked up.  It’s not easy being away from the familiarity of the United States for such a long time.

As I started to tear up, my teammate Evelina squeezed my hand.  That right there showed me that even though my family isn’t in Sweden, and even though my friends from home aren’t here with me, I have a new family and new friends in a different country, and they love me too.  How lucky am I to have my 12 teammates willingly join me at my apartment so that I didn’t have to be alone on this holiday?  These girls are truly like sisters to me.  Whether we are from the United States, Poland, or Sweden, we learn so much from each other.  Some of my teammates are older than me, some the same age, and others younger.  I listen to their experiences and try to learn from each one of them.  We all have different stories, and that is what’s so cool about this whole experience.  Whether my teammates are giving me Swedish lessons or asking me questions about my life back in the United States, we continue to grow and learn from one another.  I wasn’t homesick at all by the time everyone left.  I felt like I truly do belong here and that my teammates have my back.  They have from the moment I joined this team, and I couldn’t be more thankful for them.  John 15:12-13 says, “This is My command: love one another as I have loved you.  No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.”

 

As we went around in a circle and said what we are thankful for, I realized that I could have said about 100 things and it still wouldn’t have been enough to say all of the things I am thankful for in my life.  After Skyping with my mom and dad who were at my aunt’s house for dinner, I was actually okay with being so far away from them.  I could still join them via modern technology and have a unique experience of my own at the same time.  I even got to play a game with my youngest cousin who I haven’t been able to see that much over the years due to school and volleyball.  He loved me anyway and kept playing that game with me (or maybe he just liked seeing himself on the computer screen…).  Seeing my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all together at once made me extremely happy.  They are crazy and that’s what is so special about them.  There’s never a dull moment in our family, that’s for sure.

I think we used every single dish, glass, and piece of silverware in our apartment, because it took me almost 2 hours to do the dishes and clean up the apartment.  After treating myself to yet another piece of pumpkin pie, I am now lying in bed writing this message.  I’m so overwhelmed with joy that it is hard for me to even process some of my thoughts right now.

What I do know is that I am blessed more than I could possibly imagine.  I am thankful for my family, my friends, my teammates in Sweden, my former teammates at Clemson, Mentor High School, Eastside, and Cleveland Volleyball Company, my coaches, my teachers, getting out of the dark place I was in my life less than a year ago because I found Jesus, and FCA volleyball.  I’m thankful for all the hardships I’ve endured in life because they have helped me to become a better person.  I’m thankful for being able to play volleyball and for appreciating music and performing arts as much as I do.  I’m thankful for all the alone time I get in Sweden; it helps me find out who I am and who I am meant to be.  God’s timing is perfect; it always was perfect and it always will be perfect.  We don’t always know why we are put in certain situations, but that’s not really our job to figure out.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said that “You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give.”

Yes, I would have liked to have been with my family today, but at the same time, I wouldn’t have traded Thanksgiving in Sweden for anything.  Helen Keller said, “Your success and happiness lies in you.  Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.”  No one can bring me down.  I am strong, I am happy, and no matter what happens, I always have God by my side.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE <3